In response to:
http://themattwalshblog.com/2013/11/09/abstinence-is-unrealistic-and-old-fashioned/
I agree with his message that casual sex is impossible (at least for all but those who have been desensitized), but he seems to be just as judgmental of those who have sex before marriage as the health teacher is of those practicing abstinence. The choice to abstain until marriage or not is really a choice for each individual to make. I think it shouldn't be made hastily, but it's our own choice and others shouldn't make you feel guilty for the choice you make on this subject. If you do feel guilty about it, then that is something you need to deal with.
Our decision between abstinence and being sexually active is a battle of will and biology. Biologically speaking the desire to reproduce comes well before our society's acceptable age to marry. The difference between the age of sexual maturity and age of acceptable marriage (let's call it the reproductive gap) has widened throughout history and continues to widen as people are getting married more commonly around 30. This is in contrast to marriage commonly occurring at 20 just 50 to 100 years ago. With the reproductive gap widening we can only assume that the sexual tension of the early reproductive life cycle to increase along with our biological desire/need to produce offspring and pass on our genes. However, I have always said that due to the high level of cognitive ability that humans have we often overcome our biological desires (some with ease, others very reluctantly).
On the biological side some individuals have a stronger sex drive and others have almost no desire to have sex (often depending on the relative abundance of testosterone in the individual). This also varies over time and may be dependent on the environment that the individual is in. For example, if an individual is in a place with more viable and sexually active prospective mates their sex drive may increase because the conditions are right.
The will side of this psychological battle is based on factors such as the culture we grew up in, parental teaching, the perceived activity of peers and our own resilience. Each of these varies between individuals and also varies over time in each individual. From what I have seen I believe that culture and parental teaching have the largest impact on this issue and often form the basis for our guilt if we choose not to abstain. If you grew up in a more religious culture, or were taught to follow a certain religion by your parents, that background may lead you to attempt abstinence. That background may also effect the strength of your resolve and from there the strength of your will is tested against your biological desire to reproduce.
This is a battle that each person has to wage and each person must ultimately make their own choice. We can encourage one way or the other with our own children, but when it comes to sexual education in public schools (where people from all religions and backgrounds are taught) we must do our best to present both sides as equally viable. Learning about STDs and birth control is important because many people choose to have sex before marriage and with more than one partner. Learning about birth control is also important for those who wait until marriage because it allows a greater amount of control over when to have children as well as how many to have. But abstinence must not be forgotten! Those that choose abstinence should be encouraged to stick with their choice as it is much more difficult to follow through on.
So, yes, I encourage you to practice abstinence. But make sure it is your own choice and take the time to think about it and consider how it may impact your future relationships.
Also, just as a side note, this guy asks what does "casual" sex bring us freedom from? It brings us freedom from thousands of years of religious and cultural oppression that thinks it can make our most intimate decision for us. It causes some people to give up security, trust and commitment, but it doesn't for many because all of that has already been destroyed by legalistic religion, controlling parents and destructive social interactions.
